his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize