She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
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Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
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That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
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