my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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