if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
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Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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