I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
i love accidental penises.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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