Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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