I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I smell like Dick and happiness
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