he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
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