He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
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