Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
this will be a night to untag.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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