he has the hands of the vagina gods.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
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