No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
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