God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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