are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
