She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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