He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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