every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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