We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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