Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
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Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize