Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize