I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
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He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
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i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
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