She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize