8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
You can't special order awesome
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
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