Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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