I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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