also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
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