I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
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