I'm so fucking centered right now
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
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i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
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i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
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