we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
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