I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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