apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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