Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
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