her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
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