Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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