Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
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Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
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She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
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