Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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