yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
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Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
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