my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
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