Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
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In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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