I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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