Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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