so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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