There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
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