I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
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