cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
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I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
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All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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