remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
I'm having to shit out rocks
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