I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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