I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Everclear isn't food dammit
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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