Dual....:-)
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
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