How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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