you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
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In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
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I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
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