I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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